Murdoc's Pirate Radio Broadcasts
by MoonScar13
Summary: Not a fanfiction, just simply posting Murdoc's broadcasts just in case many of you fans out there never got to listen. I know I encountered some problems on their website so I never got to listen. Enjoy! (2D doesn't come in til the last one)
1. One

-wind blows- -spooky music-bells jingle-

Murdoc: Oh yeah...maybe this is the one...is it?...or maybe it's this one...oh Christ! Oooohg...! Arrrrggggh...! That should be it! Okay, alright. -Taps microphone- Yep, This is all working now. Right. -clears throat- Hello world! I'm back! Back! Live on air! It's me Murdoc Niccals! YEEEEAH! Broadcasting from my brand new 'stinkin palace of sin! Yeah this is uh... -clears throat- This is me, ain't it? Murdoc Niccals, the Gorillaz king. Coming to you live and direct, from...the middle of...nowhere! So kids...have you missed me? You wouldn't aye? It's been a long time for all of us hasn't it?...yeah? But now... I'M BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAACCCK! Oh yeah, yeah, your listening to the, uh, heavy, foggy, sounds...of my very own Rrrrrrrrrrrr - radio station! Point Nemo FM! 48 degrees south, 123 degrees west baby. This is me Murdoc Niccals. Representing the listeners of Point Nemo bay! Which is...uh...well...basically...me. -thunder- Uhh...yeah, okay well what we've got...what do you do on the radio? Yeah the weather - right. Okay, uh...the weather is sorta, y'know...same as always...y'know...foggy...windy...sorta rainy...and just...kinda - really... y'know? Hurricanes, gales, storms...and maybe the horricluded front! Awaha haaaaaaaa! It's the apocalypse at ya baby! It's the end of the world! Yeah? Here is The Dead Weather with..."Treat Me Like Your Mother." Awwwwwwww...

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Ahh! Right! Kids, this is...I uh...I guess I should, uh, let you all in on my own little secret... Where am I? I'm in a lighthouse! My own -ring- lighthouse. On my own...-ring-...beach. It's mindnight - it's always midnight here. Midnight in my mind. Horrible plastic ghetto! So, right, this is the deal, right, no ones heard a thing from us since the Gorillaz Apollo shows back in 2006. Y'know? Fantastic gigs, y'knowww? I was at the zenith...the very apogee of my creative output. Wasn't I? Yeah... Well anyway - what happened? After all that right ri- wh-wh-wh-when they ended. I had to y'know sorta skip. Split. The heat got too heavy so I collapsed the Kong building. Do you remember that place? Mmmmmhhh...I - I - I just burned it down. -chuckles- I uh...grabbed the cash and the coptors and just sorta made my way out of there...yeah? -sighs- What a place this is. What a place. A bit more of that and a bit. I've got a LOOONG strange story to tell you. Ehh...right! But more entertainment cause we are in the busniess of show, aren't we? Check this out! It's my old pal "Kirk Douglas" who's got that lovely little dimple in this chin. Don't you love that little - I'd love to rest my weary bones in that little dinkle. I've got a long strange story to tell you! YES Murdoc's got a story to tell ya! But first, check this out it's me old pal Kirk Douglas. He's got a whale of a tale to tell you...LISTEN TO KIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRKKKKKKK! Listen to Kirk!

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Errr...is there anybody out there? Heeello? HELLOOOOOOOOOOO? Uhh, well. -clears throat- I don't know if I'm...well...well If I might be just...y'know...broadcasting into the middle of nowhere. Can't tell really...it's very difficult to tell. It's just me, the island, the world to myself. Beautiful...god...I'm so alone...Can't tell how long It's been here. Y'know? The fog, the waves, and the HEEEEAT! Owww, the heat! It's clubby here...y'knowwwww...? Oh...I might as well tell you what happened. Just to get it out...y'know I might feel better...y'know...? Ummm...it's too much heat... -clears self- Yeah, right. The money we made off uh, off Demon Days, uh...I - I - I spent on some, ridiculous kinda crack stuff, y'know? Crazy shizzel...y'know? And I, and I, sold some uh...well...you know, big bombs to some pirates. Some of the bombs they didn't really work very well...well...none of them worked really. Eh - so the pirates they came looking for me. In the jets and the copters. Uh, so I gave them some more guns to, uh, y'know sorta keep them quiet. -chuckles quietly- And I just ran off! -chuckles again- Yeah, I'm rambling now...but uhh... WHERE I AM NOW Y'KNOW, no one's gonna find me here, are they? I mean it's just...it's just me, and a thousand crates of rum! Excuse me, I just gotta a little...tin - cha. -drinks rum- Mhhhm...oh god...that's nice...mmmmmm...It gives us sort of a warm glow as it goes down the back of the throat...mmmhm...that's better! I don't mind being on my own now! It's just when it wears off, it's a little...a little tricky! -sighs- Right, basically here uh is my, what I've got is like my big shiny record collection and my recording studio! Oh yeah! Yeah yeah! No! I almost forgot! I - I - I've got, I've got, some special little treat for all you landlubbers out there! I, oh yeah, Uncle Murdoc, has got some brand new...Gorillaz tracks! Oh yeah! Brand new Gorillaz! -thunder- Get on that! You didn't think I'd leave you all alone did you? Mmhhhm...oh, it's making me moist just thinking about it m -...ah...ah...oohhhhhh...brand new unreleased...Gorillaz! Aha! But not yet! Not yet! I've got to find the right track to pull out the old stocking...hmmmmm... But first, while I uh, while, uh, dig out my uh, my demos, lets, uh, rap the show up a gear with, uh, something to kick the sand right out of your ears...It's The Tigra with..."The Island"! Ooowwwwwwwwww!

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Eww! Oh there it is, I was waiting for the come at the end. Ahh - ahh - oooohh! Thats nice wasn't it? The Tigra and The Island! Yeah, oh - oh - a - a - ooh! I like that track... -sigh- I, uh, I can do the little bikini girl myself, right now, actually. EH-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E-E- y'know this island...y'know, it's been dry for so long! So long! It has! Uhh...Not anymore though... Wa-a-oh, wa-a-oh, Murdoc's here! Mmmmmmmharrroooo - drinky drinkies! Mmmm...uh - ha...mmmmmm! Lovely! Anyway -clears throat- Here it is, imagine listeners. I don't really think there is anyone listening out there. You know what? I don't care! I don't even care! Don't care. It doesn't even bother me. Nu-uh-uh-uh! Oh no, ah - oh! Just gets me through the day. Y'know? A few little noises. Y'know? A bit of an outlet. Anyway, this is the moment you've all been waiting for! You have um - you have - just wait it's oh so special! This uh - this is something I've been...ahh...a little something I've been working on. Like, uh, you know Gorillaz-styley? Uhh...I haven't actually got a name for it yet. But uh, it's fantastic, right? Well...actually now I just thought of the name. I know what the name's gonna be! It's aehhh, it's a working title! Right? But uh, it's absolutely fantastic. This is the very premiere! Check it out, kids! And uh...I know your gonna like it! It's - I think, well my opinion, It's the greatest track that Gorillaz has ever done in their whole ova! I think, and uh...it's called- it's definitely going to be called, "Stink Fish" ...you know what? I'm not going to play that. Yeah...I'm still not sure about that title, y'know, Stink Fish. It doesn't really work...does it? Not for the first track from the new Gorillaz album...It's a bit of a let down. No, in fact, uh, I'm going to uh, I'm going to play this by uh...me old...Fun Boy Three -chuckles- "The Lunatics Have Taken Over the Asylum" which is kinda how I feel of my own appearance here...right now...

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Ahh, that was great wasn't it? Y'know? Terry Hall there. It be good to see them before. Actually folks, uhhh...I've, uh, I've been thinking. I'm, uh, I'm not going to call the new, uh, Gorillaz track "Stink Fish". Well...it's just a rubbish title, isn't it really? I've decided um...I've had a little think, uh, during the track there and I've decided, uh, probably - definitely - I would say - that the track, uh, is gonna to be called, "QUUUUAAAARG!" ...good aye? Anywaaay, I'm going to play that sometime soooooon when it's ready. Uh, when the alarm bells ring, and the old uh, oven door opens. Not yet! Not yet! So -ah- uh, I'm uh, as I told you, uh, I'm making this new album. I just thought on me own. That's it, I'm on me own, that's right, I'm on me own, what wrong with that...?...yeah? Uh, and the whole thing, it just sounded fantastic. Y'know? I'm just so, I'm so buzzed by it all. Y'know...it's great. So much better than the last one. That was awful! Demon Days...AWFUL! Well some of it was alright. Anyway, but, the thing about it was, uh, I thought it was too much Noodle... in that one...y'know? But uh...not enough of me, obviously...really. Eeeeeeeeeeww...the thing is the more I drink...the weird thing about me - hang on a second... -drinks rum- Oh yeah, the weird thing about me is...the more I drink, the more sober I become...weird isn't it? Mmmm...anyway. -clears throat- Ah - I - I talked about the album, um, I needed uh...sorta...of a little extra backup, so, uh, y'know to take the, uh, wild factor, up a notch or two. Uhh...so I got 2D out here. Uhh...he didn't wanna come. He was scaredy - lil scaredy cat - scaredy cat. But uh, he didn't actually have much of a choice. Uh...I sorta uh...well, I gassed him and shipped him over. -chuckles- Kidnapped, shoved him in a box, and then sorta freighted over. So, that was the vocals sorted. Mhhmmmm... And then I thought...GUESTS! ARRRRR! WE ALWAYS GOT...GUESTS! So like, who am I gonna ship in this time? I thought, "Well, lets get in some of the family." So, I - I - I got a tape, a tape by these guys, right? In fact, uh, this is the track, that I got sent by a lovely bunch of uh, uh...of boys. Uh...I don't mean it in that respect. -chuckles- Not really, I don't, I don't mean like that. -chuckles again- And I look at it - it's remarkable how much like Ronnie Corbett I can become, isn't it? Y'know isn't it...? Actually, y'know I spoke to my producer I said, "Lewg, Lewg" I don't - I've been, I've been on my own far too long. I know it's rad isn't? Ronnie Corbett, get out of it...I love Ronnie Corbett, I quiet fancy him to be honest. I'd like to do it with him. I'll tell you that for nothing. Anyway... -laughs- This rum is good! I don't - I know... you know, I looked at the picture...I thought..."Eh...he looks familiar" Ohhh, my gothic little angels. The apple doesn't fall far from the tree does it? My boys. I mean what are the chances of this look, y'know, 5 separate kids from 5 separate mothers...meeting up and forming a band! And there good! Unbelievable odds, isn't it? Yeah? Have a listen! -music plays- Y'know? Check it out there my boys! Ahh, God I'm so proud! Y'know? This is uh, this is The Horrors with uh..."Sea Within A Sea" I NEED SOMETHING TO SPEED ME UP!

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Okay...uh...I'd like to, uh, I'd to send out some, uh, very late Birthday wishes to a special little girl. A special girl who turned 19 last Halloween. Our very own Noodle. Ooh Noodle. I do hope she's okay. I - I - I - I haven't seen her since the, uh, El Manana video. Oh, what a cock out that was. 50 gran of floating island crashing and burning. Noodle's on there. She, she was ment to parachute off...I - I think she did...but...well...you never know... The thing was - The thing...was shot down by these copters that tailed us down to the shoot. Same guys I'm running from now. Y'know? The black clouds! So...-clears throat- y'know...maybe Noodle's no more...ehhhh. I managed to, uh, scrap up some bits and pieces and, uh, kinda put something new together, but...awwwwwwww ah - it's not the same really...Still! Great video! Happy birthday Noodle where ever you are... Awww...

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Oh listen!...It's got that...listen to that...it's got that Robin Williams thing. Y'know? The guy who played Popeye when he did that song? Oh, "Nancy Sinatra"...y'know? Ooohh...I was getting some funny 'ol feelings there...thinking about her. Y'know, with her big boots. I used to like those...Oooh - a - ooh... Lovely! Ha -haaye! Oooh, "You only live twice" Actually, I don't - I don't. Uh, I think I've lived 14 times all together. Maybe even more. Who knows. We'll go in- into that - more later on. That's quite serious, it's not a joke. I think it might be more then 14, but as I say, we'll go into that later on. Not now. Now's not the time, alright? Okay. That was Nancy Sinatra, whose dad - was...mmmmmmmm...quite scary in some ways. Wasn't he? Bob Sinatra. Remember him? Ooh, big fella. Y'know? Very violent. I like - I like - I like a violent man. I like a man who's Pronto Psychosis. Y'know? Can be sorta nice by turns, and then, physicotic another day. Great. Listen to who he stand. Hmm? Hmm? Hmm? Right anway, -clears throat- here we go another treat for you, right. This is something extra to put in your pipe. I was thinking of playing this other Gorillaz track that I've been working on. Uh, It's almost finish - well, it is finish. Apart from the title. Uh, someone's written "Stink Fish: Version 2" on the label which eh, well sounds rubbish really, doesn't it? -looks at track- Oh. Come to think of it looks like my writing a bit...I don't remember coming up with that name. Ooh...why would I? Stink fish - I mean, why would I...? Why would I call it Stink fish? Y'know... Anyway, while I look for the, uh, right track here's, uh, "Toots & the Maytals" with, uh, "Sweet and Dandy" from "The Harder they come" An old time, uh, favorite record of mine. Now, where's that, uh, new Gorillaz album gone...I had here somewhere...where is it? AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Ooooooooh, isn't that great? Toots & the Maytals there. Oooh...we are...oooh. Ah, anyway, so there you are. -chuckles- Certainly sent the - a sorta brisk wind down your whole tail pipe doesn't it? Y'know? I - I feel all clean and sparkly now. Y'know? I need a good old detox actually I just... ehh...I'm gonna have a bit more rum. -drinks rum- Mm...oh...oh god...oh...I think the lining of my...my throat is...coming away. That's what it feels like... nice feeling though. Nice feeling! Alright -clears throat- anyway, uh...I've gotta go now. Umm, I don't know what I'm gonna go and do. But uh, I'm just gonna go. Umm, and uh, really that's all we got time for today. Ah - Oh I better be a bit professional now! Uh..."You be listening to Mur-" Uh, I can't redo the voice, but this is - this like a proper DJ right, okay. "You be listening to me, Murdoc Niccals, the Gori-" DJ's dont sound like that, no...? Aw, I do it anyway. "This is me" No, no, no, I'll do it again, Stalk it up. WA - WA - WA! Here we go...hehehehe! You be listening to me, Murdoc Niccals, the Gorillaz king at Point Nemo FM! 48 degrees south! And 123 degrees west! There's rain everywhere! There's an eerie green fog rolling in over the bay! A bloody hand print on the door! Everything's leaking...and I've run out of mixer...Mhhhmmm...I can't just sit here drinking weak rum on my own. Can I? Uhhh...we'll be back. Maybe next week, or something like that if I'm still here... Oh hang on, hang on! Here it is, the new Gorillaz album "Plastic Beach"! Found it! Oh...ear my (?) please. Oh, that was close. Massive stalk mark at U - turn! Company salvaged... Returned to form... Phew! Mmhh...I was thinking I was gonna have to re-record all that. Ooh... So folks! Tune in next week when I'll be finally airing, premiering some brand new un-heard album tracks. From the third installment of my fantastic Gorillaz band. That is a promise folks. Honestly, I promise you. So If I haven't drowned in Rum, plastic and urifem, Meet me here, and feast your ears on the musical world exclusive. New Gorillaz! I might even tell you who's on the track. And! I will be playing of course, "Stink fish" at - at- a later date. And remember boys and girls... SATAN LOVES YOU! -echoes-


	2. Two

***MUSIC PLAYS, -I wanna marry a lighthouse keeper-***

Murdoc: -Murdoc jams along- Oh...nicely timed, uh, there we go that's, uh, "Erika Egg" uh...from uh...eh...what's her name...it's short, I think it was...yeah...Clot - from, A Clotwork - clot...Clotwork Orange, have you ever seen that film? "Clotwork Orange." Oh, great film. It was better than Clockwork Orange. That was, that was alright, but Clockwork Orange was fantastic. It was about that tall guy, that everybody threw bricks at. Do you remember? That was the whole film. Ahhh, I liked it! Ah - a lot of people didn't. I did! Uh, right of course! You probably think "What am I listening to? What's happened?" I've got into a - a strange, uh, universe. Oh, you have in many ways. Uh, you're listening to me, Murdoc Niccals and uh...this is my very own Radio show! Hahahahahaha - great! Wa - ha! Ha - ha! -sings- Murdoc's got his own show! Murdoc's got his own show, la la la la! Hoy! La la la...-stops- I must have some rum...mmmm... oh yeah... -drinks rum- Mmhm! Ow! Oh...y'know...my little, my little tinkle has just completely vanished. Y'know? It's like a little baby carrot. Anyway, I shouldn't really told you, that's too much informa - I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! Anyway, you're listening to me, Murdoc Niccals. This is uh, Point Nemo FM and 48 degrees south, 123 degrees west! Uh -clears throat- that's the name of the Radio station, Point Nemo FM. Ah, there's no other radio station quite like it. Except Radio 1. Which is exactly the same. Other than that, there are no other radio stations like it. Uh, and you know what? I gotta tell you a little secret. I- If you haven't been listening to the first show...What you been doing?! Should of been listening to it. Uh, anyway you know where I'm broadcasting from? It's the most deserted spot...On. The. Planet! Y'know? I'm on my own, alright? You gotta a problem with that? SORRY! IF YOU GOTTA PROBLEM WITH THAT, Y'KNOW? YOU WANNA TAKE IT OUT WITH ME SOMEDAY, THEN FINE! Otherwise I think we'll get on...really well. Ah, but I'm uh, I'm stuck on this place called "Plastic Beach". You should see it man. Oh...Oh what a place. I - I thought South N was bad...y'know? But uh...I think this might be slightly worse...not like I have anything with South N, actually...not really South N? Really is it? -clears throat- Anyway, I was, uh, -clears throat- Basically the reason I'm here, cause, I don't know if I told you the last show, but I was escaping from some, some, some pirates...OH GOD THEY WERE SCARY! OH GOD! ONE OF THEM HAD A HUUUUGE HEAD! OH, I DIDN'T LIKE IT! I kept seeing his head in my dreams...oh hang on I'll just have some more rum. Hang on a second... -drinks more rum- Oh...ooohhh that's better! HmmHmm - hmmhmm! Oh, I went all Northern then. Oh, "Hey it's Murdoc from up North!" Sounds funny, doesn't it? -laughs a bit- Anyway! Right! No! What we do is we play music on this show, actually. And uh, I will actually be playing you, uh, some uh, Gorillaz, uh, I'm definitely going to be playing you the new track uh, "Stink fish"...great track...no I really am gonna call it Stink fish -chuckles- the one I'm gonna play. Right? I will! Uh - Well, probably...I don't know. Anyway...um...what's the uh...I don't even know what the first- what's the first track? Oh yeah! I got it! Here we are! Whats the matter with ya Murdoc? Oh, Muddy, Muddy, Muddy! You know when you spend a lot of time on your own? You go a bit mad? OH WHERE'S THE DOCTOR? OOHHHHH! GIVE ME MORE DRUNK! GIVE ME DRUNK! Oh...that's right I'm on me own...Oh dear, oh dear. I need help. Anyway! This is from a lovely lady called, "April March" and uhhhh...just to uh, tickle your fancy a bit, uh... I'd uh - I'd say uh, keep watching the headlines cause, uh, around April and March...actually, uh... Y'know just keep your eyes open. Hmm? Hmm? There's a seismic event happening, with the Gorillaz! In the mean time, check this out, it's uh, It's called, "Chick Habit". I used to have one of those but ahhhhh I'm clean now. It's, uh, it's by April March. Ooohh...my throat...

***MUSIC PLAYS***

-sings- Ahhhh! Stink Fish! Yeah? Yeah? Might work. You can call that Stink Fish! Actually, that wasn't called Stink Fish. Uh, that was, uh, that was April March. And, uh, that's called, uh... Chick...chick habit... Oh, that music. Oh man...oh that's so soothing. I just feel like letting myself...drift off. Into the...well into the Abyss really. Nice Abyss mind, y'know? Pleasant - not - not horrible! Not dark! I'm gonna have some rum. Ah - mm...-drinks rum- -burps- Mmm...excuse me. Oh, that's better. I don't know...y'know when you're coming off the rum...I don't know...do ya... If you're like me, do you see uhhhhhh...do you see spiders on the wall? And ummm, flies that aren't there? Hmm? Do ya? No? Oh, it's just me then. Alright. I must drink less. I think that's probably the answer, isn't it? Um...yeah, anyway! This show - is not about me talking, clearly. It clearly is not about Murdoc Niccals talking. By the way, you're listening to... -sings- Point Nemo FM! 48 degrees south! 123 degrees...weeeeeeeeeeest! I got some, uh, voice people in to do the, those little jingles. Yeah, I hope you like them. Yeah, y'know? Mhmm? I got some other ones coming up, later on, which I hope you like. And uh, yes for the such of all music by people who can make...proper MUSIC! "Brian Wilson"! Son of Harold! This is called..."Sail on Sailor". It's the Beach boys! And why not? We're on a beach.

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Oh ain't that marvelous... the beach boys you know on the contrary I don't think I ruined that I think I enhanced it, quite frankly that was good... wasn't it? Did you like it? Do you like it? Oh dear - Oh dear, I've been on my own so long, I'm going - I'm going a bit, uh, a bit sorta...eh...a bit silly. You do go a bit silly when your on your own. I don't know if you find that - I found this book actually, I was washed, eh...I'm beginning to sound like eh, Jody Blackwell. Uh... -chuckles- actually -chuckles- That's the title is actually called Plastic Beach. It was washed up on the island. And you know what? You know what folks? Listen, listen, listen, listen to me. Come here, come here, come to Murdoc, come to Murdoc, see here. It's the book, it's actually the history of man! Yeah? From the Big bang? Do you remember when the Big bang...-mumbles- wait, wait...when was the Big bang...it was Monday wasn't it? It's on a Monday, the Big Bang...I think...uh... Anyway, and it's right from there from the present day! IT'S ABSOLUTELY...TERRIFYING! Oh...I tell you, I mean, he's - he's in it! He's in it! On every page! And he always has been! Right? And when I say he, I mean Murdoc! Me! Me - I'm talking about myself in a third person...oh god. -chuckles- No, no - and, and uh, No I've been throughout history... tell you what I've been in, uh, ancient...Ancient Rome… uh, the Black Death. That was nice - Oh I loved the Black Death. I really enjoyed the Black Death, actually. First time it came around, that was best, in the 13 hundreds. At The fire in London...which I started. I had a box of swans in Pudding Lane. They tried to pin it on me. But nah, I didn't really, I didn't start lying, I didn't really... I helped them put it out - it's like a trench. It was my idea! It was my idea! Samuel Peeps, forget about it he just stood there writing about it! He didn't help… did he? Samuel Peeps just stood there, writing this freakin'…diary. Whatever it was… about... "Oh this fire is getting worse and people" Did he did he do anything about it...? Noooo! I think he knew too much… as far as I'm concerned…Anyway I said build a trench and that should stop it and they did. And it did. Alright okay? Then the, uh, The industrial revolution Abraham Darby... all that… that was good. I like - he was a personal friend of mine. And uh, Izambard kingdom Brunel...oh...oh god me and -chuckles- Ah - ah - I miss him so much. I - I - I do. I mean I do, I mean I loved him very much. I loved him. You know the thing I liked about him most, was his hat. And that sounds strange. But really, I loved Izambard's hat. And I told him that on many, many, occasions. That's why we were close...and, uh, the Vikings of course. So um...Anyway, have a look at this book. It's fantastic. Really it is absolutely amazing. But, It is enough to, uh, turn a man to drink. Quite frankly. Scary stuff. -drinks rum- Anyway! The next track - lets move on. That's enough of my waffle. Moving on! Next track here uh, is from the, uh, the new Gorillaz album. And you can't...you're so lucky I'm playing all these new tracks! Y'know? Wh-wh-wh- Y'know? Great! It's good...I'm - I'm being nice to you aren't I? This one is called, "Pink Stink Fish".

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Oh, dear, dear, dear, dear...no...I - I - I've been thinking...oh yeah, I can't - I can't call that - I can't call that Pink Stink Fish. It's just...ohhh It's just - I can't, I can't call it that...you can't - It's just...you can't do it, can you? Can't do it... Leave it, forget it - forget it it's not called Pink Stink Fish... I think - Oh hang on, what's that going to be called...oh yeah...that one's going to be called, "OH YES!" ...eh...uh...nice track. I hoped you enjoyed it. Anyway, uh, you're listening to -sings- Point Neemoo FMMMM! 48 degrees south. 123 degrees west! Radioooooo... Oh, I've got some voice people in to do that ...mmmm...great. Okay, uh...actually I'm - It's getting uh, it's getting a bit grim around here actually. I'm in the middle of the ocean with this fog swirling around. And this - noises and things in the night. Which I just don't understand...from creatures of the deep. And it's...just...frankly...disturbing. Although, having said that, that could be my self-conscience. So there you are... Um, I think the other day, y'know I - I may have...I'm not sure cause it was so foggy - I might have lost a limb...I'm not actually sure. Anyway, this is uh, "Burn Rubber on me". And it's the uh... "The Gap band" Mmm - mmm - mmm...Mmmm-mmm-mmm! I do miss England.

***MUSIC PLAY**S*

Oh...WOW! Yeah...Oh, Gray Davis. Kinks there, Y'know? "Plastic Man". Great song. Lovely. You're listening to...POINT NEMO FMMMMMM! 48 DEGREES SOUTH! 123 DEGREES...west...! Ah...! That's better. Feel better now. Uh, you're listening to me Murdoc Niccals, uh, from Gorillaz. On my own radio station, I'm on me - on me - on - monnombebebebebeuw...ya-ba-ba-ba-ba...ba! I'm on my own. Broadcasting to uh, nobody in particular. Mmm mmm mmm mm? Anthony Hopkins, mmm? How's the race? Anthony Hopkins. Mhmm? Build a rocket...Fruit de mars, Fruit de mars! Anthony Hopkins! Shut it! ...Right sorry. Sorry about that. Anthony Hopkins took me over. It happens! People take me over. I'm on me own, that's why - that's why! Y'know? Anyway that her up, Hmm? Hmm? -cork flies- Bottoms up! There we are... Right, uh, yes, I've got another treat coming up for you actually, believe it or not. Uh, I am actually treating you very nicely. Even though I'm probably...my mental disintegration. Uhh...it is mildly entertaining I suppose... Y'know. That's why I set the radio station up - I wanted you to hear me sort of - y'know...mentally disintegrate on air. So there's a record of it. I think it's nearly fair, isn't it? - I think it's nearly fair! Yeah if you're gonna disintegrate mentally...GET IT DOWN ON TAPE! That's what I said - that's what the doctor said to me, y'know? All right -chuckles- this is another uh, Gorillaz track... now - right now - I've been thinking. I've been thinking...While I've been talking, I've been thinking. As well...at the same time. Y'know? So this Gorillaz track is another one...uh, off the album. Oh - By the way, this album is the best - out of the 12 album's we've done. This one is called, "The House of the Pinky Stink Fish"

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Oh you're listening to me Murdoc Niccals on Point Nemo FM, 48 degrees south, 123 degrees west thank you for tuning in to Murdoc's little show. You know I told you that track, that Gorillaz track which was yeah, quite good, erm...It was actually brilliant. I was going to call it the house of the Pinky Stinkfish but I think, oh I don't know I've been thinking about it and I can't really call it that, can I? It's not going to be a hit is it if I call it that. So, forget about that, forget about that... I can't call it that, it's stupid. I don't know what came over me. Anyway, I've thought of a much much better name...umm, I'm thinking of calling that track...'Eiyungundiclarkaclarkaclarka' which is much better isn't it? Rolls off the tongue easier. Oh dear, at last I've come to my senses...There you are. Anyway, did I tell you about that film? I watched a wonderful film last night called 'Cake Fear' not to be confused with 'Cape Fear' Robert Mitchem and all that...This is cake fear, which is better, I thought it was better film. I watched it last night anyway and oh god its scary. Oh no, it's really, really scary. Set in this giant tumble dryer. And there's a whole crowd of people dressed in Victorian clothing, Spinning and spinning and spinning. And then this big face comes through and this big tongue comes out. And across the tongue is this little man which looks a lot like Alan Titmarsh. Who gets shot and everything just bursts out of him and that's the end of the film. I love it... oh I love it. Titmarsh. Anyway, the next tracks called 'People who died' and its by Jim Carole and he's really good, you should pay attention to this... And its not called Stinkfish!

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Yeah... ohhh that is me that is a very jolly track..."People who die" My sort of track. Hope you enjoyed listening to the Gorillaz tracks. The thing is about all those tracks is that I can't really remember who played on them... Or... who's there or... what happened... I just know we came out with that track. But next time next week I will be doing another show... Broadcasting on Point Nemo FM which is 48 degrees south 123 degrees west and, erm, I will be able to tell you who collaborated on those tracks and I'm beginning to sound like "Clive Anderson" which is worse. Ahhh must get out more This place is awful, scary, fog rolling in I don't know how long I've been here now could be six months could be a year I don't know... who knows... But, erm, at least there's no one bothering me... -startles- What's that?

***MUSIC PLAYS, -I wanna marry a lighthouse keeper-***


	3. Three

***SCARY MUSIC PLAYS***

Murdoc: -turns radio nob- Ohhhh...yeah, it's coming in, coming around...almost there...ooohhh that's it. Oh, oh, oh no. A bit more to the left. Annnnnd...where there! Okay boys and girls, were back! You're back in the sack on Plastic Beach! Ready to pump so more poison into the atmosphere! Oh, dear lord. Has - Has - Has it been a week already? Has it? Oh time flies, doesn't it? Mhmm...God y'know, It seems like yesterday I was sitting here spinning my disks of shame for you all. HAPPY DAYS! -clears throat- So, uh, oh just to remind you all... This is me, Murdoc Niccals. And bass player, of the world's storming band...GORILAAAAAZZ! And this is it! The return of...GORILLAAZZZZ! After 3 loooonnnnng years! Oh dear, Oh dear. That took a lot out me, that. Oh...are you exctied? Well I - I'm...Well...I'm certainly aroused. I've - I've got a little bit of a semi, oh no. Actually. I think the truth should be known... I'm uh -clears throat- yeah, I'm stuck out here. This is what - I'm just stuck! Stuck out here! In uh, uh, Point Nemo! Noman's land! This stinking plastic dump! Oh, just me and Captain Morgan here to guide us through this long dark night of the soul. Jammed in my little lighthouse, on my own tracey island. Yeah...hosting my own stupid little lonely radio show. And tonight...yeah? On episode 3, I'm debuting some more...killer new Gorillaz tunes! Great aye?... Well show some enthusiasm!...what's the matter with ya? Yeah...come - come with Uncle Murdy. Come with Uncle Murdy. Take my hand. I'll...lead you...though the forest of uncertainty... You know what? I need more rum. I just...hang on a second. -drinks rum- Mhmm!...Oh...a glass of that - that's a good batch! Good batch that! Anyway, I've been uh, running around looking for uh, something special to lay uh, lay on you cats all week. And! What's happen is, I have come across this little number. This is incredible...I'm gonna kick off the show with a brand new Gorilaz tune! Yea -he -e-hay! Oh, check out this little baby! It's called, "Stink Fish!" And it's Gorillaz!

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Oh man!...There you go. God, that'll clear the wax out of your lugholes. Y'know, it's Murdoc Niccals here. I'm on uh, Point Nemo uhh...and I'm broadcasting to you from this stinking plastic beach. Uh, that I now have to...recite on. But uh, it just - you know? You know? It keeps me out of trouble. You know? Doing the little radio show. Thanks for tuning in. Uh, I've just been thinking, you know I said that track was called Stink Fish...Umm...eee...yeah...I had a little...little think about this. And uh, I can't - I can't really call that track Stink Fish. It's eh - It didn't really...there's nothing all Stink Fishy about it, was it? Was there really? You know, that Gorillaz track. So. Uh, I'm just uh - definitely I've had another thought - and I'm definitely...gonna be calling it...uh, "Pepper Larch"... ...yeah. So that's uh, that's a track called Pepper Larch...by Gorillaz. Ha - ho. Marvelous, aint it?... Umm...-clears throat- Right. Now uh, this is - this is how it is, right? What - I'll tell you what's happened. I'll give you a little back story. Yeah? Murdy wurdy's uh, back story. I've been stuck on this island for 6...well 7...8 months, I don't know. I don't know. Hiding meself away. Away from the pirates...y'know? Away from the record companies. Away from those gonks in my band...OH I CAN'T STAND THEM! Russel and...2D...and Noodle. Oh, there me appendages...you know? I - I can't be doing it. Anyway...umm... -clears thoat- I had to - I just had to get away. Y'know? -cries- I - I didn't...you know? It's too much...pressure...It's too much for Murdoc...y'know? I was just losing it...I just eh... I - I... I was just...y'know? Wasn't...I just eh...! I think I better have some rum...hang on. -drinks rum- Oh, that's better...Oh dear, oh dear. The withdrawals come on quick. Don't they? These days... Okay...-clears self- Right so! -clears throat- Anyway! -breathes- Um...I think uh, yes! Uh, I b - the time's - the time's gonna tell you Gorillaz fans what's uh, what's been happening. I'm on Plastic Beach; Point Nemo. The furthest point from any land mass on earth! You thought that was less though, didn't you? Apparently that used to be the furthest point. The- It's Point Nemo is now. And uh, it's the most deserted spot on the planet! SO SUITS ME! Alright? The map reference actually, just for the record for you people out there that need to know this. I need to know this. I hope - hope you do too. It's uh, 48 degrees umm...52...uhh...36 south! And uh, 123 degrees - 23 - 36 west! So, you know where I am. Yeah? Good. Right. And uh, what exactly is this Plastic Beach, Uncle Murdy? Well, uh...it's uh, sorta mythical, synthetic palace that I've set up. Umm, in the - the clues in the title really. -laughs- Uh, it's literally an enormous lump of plastic floating in the sea. Kind of a unnatural collection of ancient and modern debris. It's amazing, I'll tell you. Plastic bottles, old tires, electrical cack. And all manner of sorta dumped and damaged goods, right? And it's - and it's all hold together by...a thick, sticky, gloop of... of jettison tar and oil slicks from a million un-told disasters! OH! FANTASTICH! YEAH? It's actually a coagulation of all the world's trash. It somehow come together, to form a new floating putrid land mass. Great. We need another one of those. Don't we, really? Uh, something's uh, something that's been growing since man first lobbed a crisp packet into the sea! Actually the first guy to do that was like a little caveman, I think. Uh the first - you know them - them early crisp packet's in the Neanderthal times. Uh, they had a little, uh bag of blue salted, do you remember? Yeah amazing. I think it was one of those that was thrown in. Uh, and basically...an ecological, uh, historical disaster is what this is. This whole Plastic Beach thing. And, believe it or not folks, Its got its own recording studio! There's a bit of luck for you, ain't it? And uh, and it's got its own self elected 'presidente... ME! MURDOC NICCALS! KING OF THE DUMP! HA-HA! Uh... -clears throat- When I - When I - When I disappeared after Demon Days, I had to find - I had to hide out somewhere...y'know? Where no one would find me, y'know...so I chose this place. Uh, it's got all the old uh, equipment there from Kong Studios. I've had it all shipped over. And uh, started on a new album, yeah? As you do. You know what I mean, yeah? And uh, it - basically this is the album to end all albums. Umm...I'm thinking of calling the album..."Plastic Beach" or something like that. -laughs- Maybe! I don't know. Uh...-laughs- anyway! But this album...yknow, it - it - it - I thought this album; it's gotta be something that would make Demon Days just seem like a warm up act, really. Y'know...so it's - it's actually been 3 years in the making. And uh...I'm sorta "just letting a couple of tracks trickle out of the barrel!" Uh, Uh, because there's - there's a Tsunami of Gorillaz music on the way, y'know? But all in good time people...all in good time! Right now, I'm going to play some other crap out of my record collection box. This is uh...oh..."The Stranglers" with "The Raven" UAARRCKK!

***MUSIC PLAYS***

There you go a little double bubble there on the old Murdy Wurdy Murdoc Show, on the ol' point FM. Two tracks in a row without me withering in between, amazing isn't it, how you can do that technology, er that was 'The Raven' by The Stranglers and The Yeah Yeah Yeah's with 'Maps. Yeah I'm going to just have some more...rum here. -drinks rum- Mhhm...! Mhmm...! Oh...you need to have the rum. Gotta have the fortification...y'know? Uhh...anyway, I'm all on my own out here. Yeah...yeah...? Eh...It's alright. I'm okay...no... Uh, as I said you're listening to Point Nemo Radio "Stink fish" FM. So, while you all get comfy and I strap myself in and tie myself off. -laughs- Gotta pull myself off. -laughs- While I'm doing the show... -laughs- Can you imagine...it would sound something like this... -breathes heavily and moans- No not really, I'm not really doing that. So it's very crude isn't it?...Y'know? I'm gonna kick this - kick this next one up, uh, with this one from Jay-Z and Alicia Keys. Oh dear old Jay-Z... -thunder- He - He's a big part of my sorta musical alphabet. He is! He is! This is uh, "Empire State of Mind" Ooohhhh, Matron!

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Oh don't you just - don't you just love that? Y'know? It's uh my old, my old mate Mick - Mick and Keith. Keith ahh, Keith and me were sorta peas in a pod. Y'know? But, were of that - were of that ilk. Y'know? Were cats of uh, cats of a feather. If you can say that. I just did, it's alright... It's "2000 light years from home" and that's - that's from the Satanic majesty's request. Which, y'know, to be fair, wasn't Sargent peppers, was it? Eh - y'know? -chuckles- I think they might have liked it to been, but it was good! It was good! Y'know? I'm not one to criticize! I like that, I like the (?) sting on there. "In another land" That's beautiful...I don't know if you've heard that one. Great track. Uh, anyway I've been uh, tinkering away at my little, my little shed...uh... for uh - for another week since we last - since we last spoke. Well, since I last talked at you. Umm -clears throat- I've been twinking...and twonking away at me keyboard. Sorta mixing and mastering. Giving you all some dinky little world exclusives. And...to wet your pallet, as to what the new, black, leathery, winged, Jabberwocky of an album I'm about to unleash...on the world! Other... -clears throat- I've been zipping around the world...y'know? Sometimes in disguise...sometimes hidden. ALWAYS undercover...y'know? Other collaborators, our - our precious 'Gorillaz Compardres', Ah - I - I've uh, I've chloroformed and uh, had them shipped out. Uh, once the poison wears off I uh, stick them in the booth and uh, get them to uh, to sing...TO SING! And uh, get them to play...and...yeah I do whatever really. But uh, all in the name of music...y'know? Good, thick, sticky Gorillaz music! -sighs- Yeah...I think it's about time I uh, pull in another little uh, Gorillaz tune out of my gritty little uh, rucksack for all you lovely fans to listen to. Um I'm tr - I think...I'm treating you quite well, to be honest. I am! Uh - Y'know? It's - where else you gonna get these tracks? Hmmm? Hmm? Yeah? Anyway, here it is folks, this track, it's called uh, "Salmon on Rye with NO title to go." Yeah? By Gorillaz. HOLD THE MAYO!

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Oh, that's wonderful there. Wonderful track. It's music to my ears. I mean, I mean, It is really isn't it? I mean it's music. And uh, well... it's going in my ears. Yeah...? So it's... "Music. To. My ears." See what I mean? Down into the...yeah? I don't have to explain it. Ah, so...as the uh, darkness grows, and the tide rises and times slips endlessly down the plug hole. -sighs- I think it's nearly fair that you get a soundtrack to help you on your way. Help us all ease ourselves into the next age. The age of Aquarius! The Water era folks! Yeah? It's coming! Costner foresaw this a few years ago, uh, I didn't think it happened then but I think it's happening now... Uh, I mentioned this last week, y'know? This - this - this um, this book. That I found, it's washed up on the shore. Um, and it's called, "The Plastic beach" And uh, when this gets out, well without being dramatic, I'm uh reasonably sure that uh, time, all nature and the uh, fabric of reality is going to well kinda...well...y'know? Implode on itself! I mean in essence, y'know? Since - since - since the beginning of time, since the big bang itself, all human knowledge, all human life has been racing towards this point. Oh it has, isn't it, really? Y'know ? Every leap of knowledge, each innovation dubbing itself in speed towards this very moment...! The Eternal Now The Infinite now...yeah... Uh, The last century saw the birth of flight, the invention of television...uhh...the Internet...uhh...the coming of trousers...uhh... the iPod...the Facebook...ummm...the uh, Youtube...Twitter. Uh - all that, all that stuff. Y'know? That's uh - it, it, it's...getting progressively worse... Each moment is racing, lets face it towards the inevitable. Uh, mankind is racing towards a conclusion. Y'know? And that conclusion it's...becoming clearer and clearer. It had to be here! It had to be now! It had to be this Plastic Beach! And it had to be us, Gorillaz! Who hailed this horrible transition! Point Nemo! Nomands land! The end of days! The...little whimper! To finish off, the BIG BANG! Here's "Blondie" with "Island of Lost Souls" ...I used to fancy her...

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Blondie, The Island of lost souls! Uhh...very appropriate, I think? Don't you? You're listening to me, Murdoc Niccals! Uh, on Point Nemo FM! Yeah Baby! You lucky people! Uhh...-clears throat- so uh, to let you know how this uh, new Gorillaz uh, album's actually come about. Umm...-clears throat- very soon ladies and gentlemen, uh - I'm gonna unleash this 'behemoth'...-laughs-...on the world! So keep your ears pealed. Uh, this is all about to get real. REALLY. REAL. So uh, in the uh mean time, here's another thing from the old record box, to keep you cozy. This one uh, my dear, dark listeners is called uh...The night of the vam - actually it's not called 'The' night of the vam - It's called, "Night of the Vampires" and it's by "The moon Trekkers" ...MWAUHH...

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Oh, Night of the Vampires, The moon Trekkers. Have you ever heard that before? It's great ain't it? Y'know? So umm...-ahem- eh... Basically, time...has caught up with this. As it always does. Uhhh...got uh well, Whales to feed, oceans to travel... But uh, I'll be - I'll be bringing on uh, a special guest next week. A certain singer...y'know? From a very famous band... He's been kept in an...underwater cabin for several months. So uh...ehh...he should really be gasping for air... I don't think I'll be giving the game away too much, If I say, He's a twerp with blue hair...who somehow got himself into my band because he looks good, he sings great and he's got no eyeballs! Yes folks, next week I'll be dragging...that old bugger 2D into my house of horrors. Lighthouse booth to sit in along side me and...shut his face, while I play some new Gorillaz tracks. Uhh...fresh cuts from the world's most glorious band. These - these are! These are gonna be lovely fresh Gorillaz cuts! Uhh, and in the meantime folks...sadly this is me, Murdoc Niccals...signing off. Passing out. And waking up 8 hours later; congealing a lump of fag ash and saliva. The cyanides kicking in. The fog is waffling under the door. Oooh...the room's begining to spin...everything's going...all...black...again... And I can feel my...trousers coming down...and then...I... Cold...cold hands... HEY DON'T TOUCH!

***MUSIC PLAYS***


	4. Four

***SPOOKY MUSIC PLAYS***

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Murdoc: Eeee...oooh...Shangri las, out in the streets. Mmmmm...yeah... Here we go again. Yeah, the Point Nemo special on the rocks! Happy hour! Once again it's me, Murdoc Niccals, the uh, ship wreck man alone in the dark. Swopping the record decks with rum, vinegar and vitriol. Mwuahh...oooh yeah, the uh, the propanol...uh...kicking in nicely now...y'know? Err...I'm teensy, wincey bit drowsy...yeah... Oh, as I say that was the uh, what was the...shrangy - shrang - how do you say that word? Shangri las... Y'know? It's easy for you to say. Y'know...? That was uh, yeah "Shrangri las" with "Out in the streets" And uh, actually I've got a little cheeky uh, rum and reggae warm concoction going on here. And uh, a full record box next to me. And...another endless night of fog and storms and isolation in front of me. So uh, yeah why don't - why don't we uh, continue this steam with lovely track from "Tom waits!" "The Ocean doesn't want me today!" Arrg!

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Oohhhhh - mhmmm...oooh...yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah... Thank you. Thank you for that Mr. Waits. Man, after bone and heart man, told me. Y'know? Very, very, uh...how you say...'Lugubrious.' And uh... -clears throat- listeners, all you fans of...well...me...Gorillaz and all that uh - all that sailor-ness. I have got, a very special guest with me! I may as well yank this full and early before he passes out! It's uh, a singer from a very famous band! In fact, the singer of my very favorite band of all time! Gorillaz! Ladies and gentlemen, here's 2D from Gorillaz! Say hello to the ladies and gentlemen 2D!

_**2D**__: Hello..._

I thought I'd let him out of his little underwater dungeon, y'know? Just to have a little look at what I'm up to... And if he's very, very, lucky, I'll alow him to intruduce a record! Maybe...

_**2D**__: Alright...this is 2D from Gorillaz...and this is our new song from... -slapped- AHHHH!_

Silence! I'm spinning the disks here pal! You sit there and shut it until I say so. Alright? Or I'll throw you to the fog. So without further ado - lets crack the whip, crack the bottle and crack on with this latest instorement of hot and heavy hits from... today and...yester-year. This is uh, "Robert Johnson" and "Drunken Hearted man!" NOT ME!

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Here's a story about a boy and a girl. The boy...well...he was tall, he was sad and he was lonely. And he wandered the earth...alone, lost, flawn, and very, very, sad. Until one day, he saw this girl, from...across the street. She had three arms. And he remembered thinking to himself, "God I have never seen a girl with three arms before..." This was the girl...he wanted. So he followed her... in down an alley way. And jumped on her, snogged her, got her to knock one out for him. And left. ...And that...is a love story...-sighs- SO! Yeah 2D! Y'know? Months in captivity, trapped in a island, force to record...how's life treating you?

_**2D**__: Uhh...it's a bit...a horrible Plastic beach...you can't even order pizza here...when can I go home...?_

Uhh, I don't think that's happening for quite some time, old buddy. How does it feel to know you about to embark on another lengthy promotion of an album, which knows no bounds? Rudderless, mindless...with me! Smashed at the helm? Hmmm?

_**2D**__: Hmmmmmnnngggggg..._

Y'know? At some point, I guess...where gonna be found, aren't we really? It's bound to happen...y'know? I'm - I'm - I'm setting up camera's all around the island. So I'm gonna - I'm gonna try...and beam...y'know? Sorta beam out some signals, some footage. Uh - uh - uh - of all this...y'know? Sorta this...this fantastic mess I've created. I'm gonna send it out, uh let the fans in on all this. And uh - I'm still not sure if there's - there's anyone out there. I can't - I can't - I can't be certain. So I'll - so I'll - I'll - I'll probably just put it through the website.

_**2D**_: _Why don't you just let me go...you tosser..._

Oh! Oh 2...2D old buddy...! Come, come, come...y'know? Well, while your here, you might as well introduce this one. As you sing on it.

_**2D**_: _Oh yeah...alright...yeah..._ _um...this is a brand new Gorillaz track. And it's called...?_

Uhhhh...oh! Umm...well...I was... I was thinking maybe we could call it... "Little house on the Stinkfish"

_**2D**_: _That is a terrible name..._

Right. Yeah. You're probably right. Uh... This is uh, "Little house on the Stinkfish...I'll be back after the break!" New Gorillaz! Yeah? Get off my leg...

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Ohhhh, this is a tune, from one of my favorite films, "The wicker man" In this movie it was uh, it was actually sung...by a lovely chanteuse, by the name of "Britt Ekland." Moooohhhh - oooh - ooohhhhhhhh... I do miss England. This is, "Willow's song" and it's performed by, "Nature and Organization" Mhmm.

***MUSIC PLAYS***

_**Radio**__: __**I had a little boat. I called it life. Once I went out...**_

Life?

_**It never came back...**_(Right.) _**all of a sudden...there was a big wind. **_(Yeah, yeah, yeah, I got that.) _**And waves like mountains.**__ (_Oh man, real one...)_** Many things raced through my mind. **__(_Yeah I get that as well...!)_**In the lonely chanting of the sea, **__(_Oh there talking about me!) _**I heard the echoes of eternity. **_(Yeah I do, I hear them! In the mornings!) _**And in the fantasy of cloud and sky, **__(_Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.)_** I saw the one who lives. **_(Right, yes.)_** And all things died. **_(Yeah?) _**And I was swallowed by the sea. **_(No...) _**Lost in the deep. **_(No...!) _**And washed up.**_

Did you have your trousers on...? Did you? Were you wearing trousers? Alright. Fair enough. Strong silent type, aye? Jizzing? That's great. You know what? I've got one bit of advice for you, old son. Just - just...get out more. Y'know? Meet people, y'know? Talk to them. Just... Y'know? There's issues there, isn't there, Eden old boy? But...okay. I mean I - I'm a fine one to talk. Y'know? Really. I'm a fine one to talk. I can uh, I can get help for you, you know? Have some...rum... -chuckles- ...Oh, it's my old muck out there, are we -laughs- are we broadcasting...?

_**When I awakened**_ (-laughs- Oh no, he's come back! He's come back!) _**I rang the door bells. **_(Yeah, you got more to tell me? Yeah, come on!)_** And the sea was calm. **_(Oh that's good, that's a relief.)_** It was strange and wonderful. **_(Woah, that sounds like it.)_** Like seeing the world **_(Yeah...!)_** and seeing through the world.**_(Yeaaah...yeah...!)_** And I told the people in the village, **_(Oh you went to the -)_** that I went out **_(Yeah, you went to the village, yeah.)_** and never came back. **_(Yeah.) _**They all left **_(-laughs- Yeah! Yeah!)_** and called me, "The wonderful." **_(Yeah...-laughs- Oh yeah, yeah! )_** And I left with them **_(Did you go with them?)_** they didn't know. **_(No, no, no of course not...)_** They were the ones.**_(Yes of course - I knew that, I knew that...)_** And so I found my way **_(Yeah how?) _**and found my home. **_(But how'd you do that?)_** On Eden's island. **_(Did you? You just found it?)_** Were the wind has been telling the truth. **_(Ah, always. Never lies!)_** Forever...**_(yeah.)_**...and ever...**_

When on forever, no about month. _**(And ever...)**_

That's a shame, isn't it? The last month or so, it's starting to be more honest, I think the wind... Oh well. I suppose you can't be picky, but there you are. Jizzing, but that was lovely! -clears throat- Nice lad! Nice laddy! Um, might wanna be in a lift with him. But there you are. Um it was called - that was called, "Lamar." Uhhh...and the...which is probably something to do with the sea, i'd imagine. I don't know. As were surrounded by the - by the - the old primary. Y'know? I'm a bit of a salty sea dog, y'know? The truth should be known. -laugh- Oh yeah, you know that. "Murdy, I'm a salty sea dog." But uh, I gotta say something. That Eden - he's a lovely, lovely, gentle...hippie... Uh -laughs- and uh -laughs- Actually before that, you uh, you heard some uh, more music straight out of the uh, overflowing golden Gorillaz packet! You lucky people! Uh - right! That's enough of that. Um...here's um, well...y'know, something else...

***MUSIC PLAYS***

"STAR LIGHT!" ladies and gentlemen, that's what that tracks called. That's uh, "The Herbaliser" there with our dear ol' mucker, "Roots Manuva." ...Yeah. Oh well. Once, again. The fog's creeping's in. And the time's stuck on midnight. The waves are lashing against the shore! And everything's...gone a bit...blurry... -sighs- Well, I'm not sure what I'm next going to broadcast. But - I've got some special guests to uh, kidnap for some final touches on this magnificent Gorillaz record. So uh - So darling, babies, children! ...It's been so enriching to be back in contact with you all! And you've had a link in there, an insight into the wild and watery ways of my new Gorillaz world! But! I think it's time to break up this party and bid you 'adieu, until I launch my black, cloaked assault on your wicked eardrums... once more.

_**2D:**__ If anyone can hear me out there then send for help...! Send police...help!_

SEND FOR HEEELLLLP! Yeah, do send for help! I need 20 beer n H...and a bottle of gray goose...(_**2D:**__ He's keeping me..._)...and a mallet!

_**2D:**__ ...Prisoner!_

Shhhh! It's okay! (_**2D: **__-tries to breathe-_)

Just - just - just breathe into this cloth, y'know? (-startled-) Just breathe. (_-breathes-_) Breathe 2D breathe...! (_-struggles-_) Breathe! That's it deep breaths! (_-breathes_-) Bits - your gonna feel a bit giddy! (_-struggles-_) That's it! (_-breathes-_) where nearly there 2D! (_-struggles-_) Breathe...breathe...! (_-breathing fades-_) And...he's gone. That's it! Okay! I'm gonna leave you all with something truly horrible, truly spectacular, and something that uh - should leave...a nasty, stinky, taste in your mouth. This is, "WHOOPS! I just skid it into your cakehole!" by my fantastic award winning band...Gorillaz!

***MUSIC PLAYS***

Mmmhmm! Oh it's too good to be true! Uh, but it is! Uh, Gorillaz are back! Back on the map, you better believe it baby. And coming to a digital store near your face in the not to distancing future. No - it - it - it - it really is! -door creaks- Huh? What's that?...Hello? Who's there? Wh - what is that? Who - who are you? It - it's the fog! The fog! Oohhh! Eh - it - ah - eh! Oh, the fog it's - its...! Ahhh -ye! Get it off me! Get the fog off me! Oh! Oh my shins! It's eating me alive! NURSE!

***MUSIC PLAYS***


End file.
